Sunday, December 04, 2011

How Not to Barbecue a Turkey

I am sure readers of blogs assume bloggers are all perfect and that disaster never strikes, but there isn't much point putting a disaster on a blog unless it is spectacular, funny and worthwhile, and this one is!

Yep, I am going back in time here because I have never been brave enough to put this on the blog. The scenario is Christmas morning 2009 - my turkey was buttered, baconed and stuffed to within an inch of its life.

We had a power cut, my husband said ok let's cook it on our newly acquired gas barbeque, which unfortunately neither of us had much experience in using.

He heated up the barbeque to the required temperature, ah yes, the power has come back on again. I heated up the kitchen oven, the power went off yet again. Only one thing for it now, put the turkey on the barbeque.

The turkey was placed on the barbeque and because of all of the butter, bacon and stuffing it immediately went up in flames. Not to be deterred my husband said very calmly, it's only a flare-up it will be ok in a minute. He then put the lid down and the amount of smoke coming from the barbeque had to be seen to be believed.

Panic, panic, panic (that's me, not my husband). He still insisted the turkey was ok, I was now not at all happy, after all you only get one go at cooking the turkey and mine was about to be incinerated before my very eyes. By now I am shouting, take it off, take it off..............At last he did, but still insisted the flare-up would subside.

What was I to do, no electricity and a turkey about to be cremated..............at last our electricity was restored and the partly incinerated turkey put into the oven to continue cooking. My turkey had already had it's initial blast of high heat on the barbeque and now only required some short cooking time.

The good news, the turkey was delicious and had a very distinct barbeque flavour. Funny thing is, my daughter said it was the best turkey she had ever eaten!

Hopefully, this Christmas everything will be ok...................but you never know, do you?

7 comments :

Marmaduke Scarlet said...

Oh this did make me laugh, and it did have a happy ending after all :)

Kath said...

Ha ha I love this post! You should have called it how to have a very stressful Christmas. I really really hope it goes better this year. I am very glad the turkey tasted good in the end and I hope you consoled yourself with plenty of bubbly.

Debs @ DKC said...

Hi Maggie, thanks for a monday morning laugh. Bet the hubby is so embarassed about this one!

Us bloggers are not perfect you know, we all have disasters, some not our fault and some are.

We had a similar problem a few years back on xmas eve. In Spain exmas eve meal is a big affair. We had friends coming for beef wellington! The power went off in a storm at 7.30pm! We waited 2 hours and gave up. Removed the pastry from the beef, sliced into steaks and cooked on the gas hob! We were starving by then. Power did not come back until 9am xmas morning. Best night we had in years LOL.

Maggie said...

Marmaduke Scarlet - pleased it made you laugh.
Kath - yes, I hope Xmas will go according to plan this year too.
Debs - How are you? I'm pleased this gave you a good laugh. I think the Beef Wellington story is good too and a very expensive one as well!

James said...

But this is the man's way of barbecue cooking - has to burnt to a cinder on the outside and raw in the middle. Turkey sushi anyone?
Love Christmas Day power cuts. Always pays to have back up camping gaz stove.

Did a whole 3 course dinner party for 31 once with a power cut through the whole night - even had to pass stuff over the electric gates at the end of the drive when we arrived & the kitchen & whole house decked in candles and an aga on 2/10 power. Not a problem - a challenge!

Maggie said...

Hi James - I am lucky, he is expert at barbeque cooking and cooks everything slowly. It was because of all the bacon and butter that the turkey went up in flames!!!

Lin, Pain d'Epices & Chocolat said...

I am glad I came here!! This was hilarious!! And the turkey delicious, are you going to cook it this way this year? No? You should!!

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